Sunday, December 31, 2006

I Wish You Enough!

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough."
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom."
They kissed and the daughter left.
The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?"
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."
She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them."
Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory: I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH

Hoppin Johns & Cornbread

Readers: Happy New Year! (my apologies for not visiting each of you, the internet is tied up out here and I am having trouble connecting due to "busy" messages - so I offer this generalised wish to you all! - be safe!)

Soak: 8 hrs., Prep: 10 min., Cook: 2 hrs., Stand: 10 min.

1 cup (8 ounces) dried black-eyed peas
10 cups water
3 bacon slices
1 small onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 cup uncooked long-grain rice
1 1/2 teaspoons salt

Place peas in a Dutch oven or large saucepan. Add water to cover 2 inches above peas; let soak 8 hours. Drain peas, discarding water.

Bring peas and 7 cups water to a boil over medium-high heat in Dutch oven. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer, uncovered, 1 1/2 hours or until peas are tender.

Cook bacon in a large skillet 5 minutes or until crisp; remove bacon, and drain on paper towels, reserving drippings in skillet. Crumble bacon.

Sauté onion and bell pepper in hot drippings in skillet over medium heat 5 minutes or until tender.

Add vegetable mixture, remaining 3 cups water, rice, and salt to peas.

Cook, covered, over medium heat 20 minutes or until rice is tender.

Remove from heat, and let stand, covered, 10 minutes before serving. Sprinkle with crumbled bacon.

Serve with cornbread.

Pig Races Held Next to Mosque


A suburban Houston man, unhappy with an Islamic association's plans to build a mosque and community center on property adjacent to his, staged pig races as a protest during afternoon prayer services Friday.

Craig Baker, 46, lined a track for 25 pigs to race on, sold merchandise and grilled sausages for about 100 people who showed up in heavy rain. People have sent donations ranging from $100 to $1,000 to sponsor the event, Baker said.

He said he is not trying to offend anyone but wants to show that the Katy Islamic Association can't force him to move or relocate.

"I am just defending my rights and my property," Baker said.

Yousef Allam, a spokesman for the association, said the group never meant to give Baker the impression that it wanted him to vacate his land.

"If we somehow communicated that to him, then we apologize," Allam said.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Return of the Black Buck

Remember THIS from Christmas Day?

Well, I saw him a couple of days afterward on nearby property, but today he ran past me as my big dog, B.O.B. (Big Ole Boy) was chasing him.

I was talking to a couple of guys on the outside of my fence. They were tracking him for their breeding program - ya know those kind of folks that want to sell rednecks tickets to hunt their land?

Well, I figured I would rather they "rescue" him than some idiot shoot him for the horns and leave his body on the side of the road. So I let them on my property, after, the little guy ran past me. They had a tranquilizer gun - I made sure of their intentions beforehand.

Unfortunately, he was MIA by the time I let them on my land. Oh well, I just hope he is safe because he is just so beautiful and majestic!

I have an ACTUAL picture of him which I will post soon - the pic is on Hubby's camera which he has who knows where....

Adriano Moraes on Today show

I recently posted about Adriano. Check him out on Wednesday, January 3rd on the Today show. While Matt is a cutie, Adriano will blow him off the map - trust me!!!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Visit Steve

I do not recall how I found Steve.... He has called in hospice and could do with some positive thoughts.

Please visit him

Saddam - RIP

Okay, I do not usually post about politics despite my degrees in said subject BUT my opinion is as follows:

I am glad SH no longer exists but I am still in awe that most people do not know we put him in the position to do what he did. AND that fairly soon we will be enabling some other fanatic to do the same in Iraq. Then we will blame them for doing what our government enabled them to freaking do. Big circle of ignorance.

This is no different from any other ordeal that the US has been involved - We stir the shit and then jump into it after it has fermented.

And, I don't want to hear any more crap about 9/11 etc - WE the people i.e. our gov't let those asses come over here and prepare an attack then decided oops....

BTW - Sadaam was killing his own people and it was wrong; yet, why is no one adamant and up in arms about the criminals and child rapists in our own country that are allowed years upon years of appeals with our tax dollars?! Let us promptly put an end to the many deserving.

Okay - DONE.

PS - Know that do support our troops & government regardless - just offering my opinion.

Mother's Recollection


Not to correct your memory but let me just refresh it.

Coon's mother would hollar, "Arthur, Arthur, fetch Brother Ikewhistle (this was the preacher's name) a drink of water."

The well and water were at the front porch, but Mrs. Massey believed in waiting on the preacher. Coon hated Ikewhistle. He stayed a year with them one time. Coon played all kinds of tricks on him. Get your Daddy to tell you all of them.

Roy Harris, at the funeral yesterday, started telling your Daddy old Coon and Henry ( Roy's Dad) stories.

Ikewhistle is also the one that had the mustache that always had food in it and that gave Coon "Cold Chill Bumps" to look at it while they were eating. If Ikewhistle drank buttermilk, he would take one finger to the mustache and wipe and make a noise like chirping or something. I can make the noise, but I can't spell it!!!
love, mom

Thanks Mother - I seemingly recall the buttermilk ordeal. Now if we could only get Daddy to use the internet and write some of those tales....

Awesome Blog Design

Guess today I am just whining.... BUT, check out Melli's blog . In addition to her interesting posts, it is beautifully designed. I want that, how do I do that, gimme that kinda style, help! My blog is ugly - I want a purty blog....
Seriously, folks, I have seen various sites that allow one to download templates and BLOGSKINS (love these) but none of them are awesome like Melli's. Plus I do not have a clue on utilizing these. Does anyone know how I can make mine fancy without losing everything?

Bestest Blog Carnival #3

The Bestest Blog of All Time is taking submissions for "Your Funniest Post of 2006." Many of my regular reads are hilarious and should provide a post for this!

Bestest Blog Carnival Boo Hoo

I submitted my Thanksgiving post to the Bestest Blog Carnival #2. There were many entries and I read practically all of them and commented on each one I read; however, I did not receive even one NEW comment on my story from any of those folks! (Of course, Hammer had previously been kind enough to comment - thank you). Boo hoo, guess no one likes me....
On another note (I hope this doesn't sound crass because I really do not mean it to be): I read quite a few blogs daily and even have some of these linked. Always, I try to leave a comment, even if it is to say "hello." About half of these folks have only left me a comment since I began blogging in October. Actually it really doesn't much matter if they do not comment because I like to read their posts. Just seems as if one should at least wipe their feet before entering your house. Or in this case, say goodbye when they leave. So I wonder: Should I remove them from my link? What do y'all think?

Happy Birthday Hubby

Today is Hubby's birthday. He's younger than me by a year and 3 months, and for those 3 months he's 2 years younger. The age difference doesn't bother me except now that we are past 40, I'm jealous - I want to be 2 years younger too.

But, ya know what I do? I tell people that I'm 10 years older than I actually am. They always think I look great for my age! he he

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Birth Order

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.
Right On, I am indeed the first born with 2 younger brothers. What is YOUR birth order and do you have siblings?

Why I Named My Blog "Snake In My Shoe"

After buying the farm, if anything could have gone wrong, it did. The land had never been cleared, had no electricity, well, or anything.

First, I tripped on a rock and fell butt first into a huge fire, with SHORTS ON, and couldn't get out of it. Luckily someone saw me and pulled me out. I had second and third degree burns on my thighs and butt that required home nursing care for two weeks.

Second, I had various major ankle sprains due to holes on the property. Third, fell off a ladder from 10 feet up, traumatizing my inner thigh. Don't know how many orthopaedic physicians and emergency room trips I had during the first 9 months.

Many other things, but these were the worst. I was beginning to think doom was looming over my head.
I mentioned my ordeals to an old lady from around here and she indicated that the Indian spirits on the land were disturbed!

"What?" I asked, "Hubby is the one clearing the land with the tractor; I am planting flowers and tending animals!" "Why would karma or whatever be trying to kill me?"

The old woman indicated that I was a special soul that "They" could reach. Okay, whatever. Sometimes I do have dreams about things that have yet to occur and "know" things before they ever happen.

She told me to sprinkle special salt around the property and tell the spirits that I was not there to harm them or the land, until she could come out and "bless" the property.

Alright, sounds loony, but I had nothing to lose at this point. So, I did as she told me.

Guess what? The injuries stopped, but THEN

My first birthday here was to be uneventful. I planned on lying in the hammock under the stars drinking wine with Hubby. What the hell could happen?

A few glasses of wine later, I had to go potty. Slipped on my sneakers and BAM - snake in my damn shoe! Trust me, you will know immediately what it is!

Now I've never been scared of snakes, as long as I see them first, but I squealed and got that shoe off faster than a ho on crack. Hubby killed the snake. Then I began to fret that I had been sent some kind of bad omen and that killing the snake meant the worst.

Later I was telling a good friend of mine about the ordeal. She happens to have studied ancient goddesses and such. She relayed to me that this was a wonderful omen. The
Snake Goddess is believed to be a guardian angel over households.

I don't know if I believe in all that rigamarole, but while I have had alot of tragedy in my life as of late, I have not hurt myself. And I like to think that I am Momma - guardian of my babies and home!
So there you have it!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Bestest Blog Carnival #2

The posts are in for Carnival #2. Check out some of the great stories!

Hamburger Anyone?

Tired of holiday leftovers? How about a hamburger?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Texas Tuesday: Coon & Annie Mae

When my family moved from Houston one of the first people we met was Miss Annie at our local Church of Christ.

My daddy never attended church (he worked 7 days a week, 24 hours a day and pretty much still does), but my mother took us kids every time the doors were open. Until I was about 16 years old, church and religion was a big deal to me. Now I curse anything that has to do with religion and am very resentful - not sure why....

Miss Annie was a little round woman with a heart of gold. Her husband, Coon, was a very tall man with an immense presence. He didn't attend church and cursed preachers. These two were extra grandparents to me; I knew them for over 30 years.

On of the stories Coon often told was of visiting preachers during his childhood. A preacher passing through town and, knowing his mother was hospitable, would stop at his house and stay for what Coon said was 2 weeks or more.

Coon would be told to go fetch a cow. Being his honery self, his momma would have to whip him to make him run barefoot through the woods to find a cow to slaughter in order to rightly feed the preacher. He'd sprinkle the story with tales of bleeding feet, scratched up face and plenty of cursing thrown in for good measure. "Dem sumbitch preachers ain't good for nutin but a free meal and a place to stay."

Miss Annie would be appalled and embarrassed when he would begin to tell these sorts of stories. "Arthur Massey," she'd say - for that was his real name.

Everyone called him "Coon" since he was a boy nicknamed that by his daddy. Reason being cause his daddy said he whistled like a coon (black person). (Don't hold this against me - I didn't name him and I ain't makin this up).

Each week the Masseys would come to our home to play dominos with my parents. Many tales were told and much ado would ensue. Coon would always be the center of attention. Edged on by my dad, he would commence to telling another story to rile Miss Annie and my mother.

One thing I will never forget: every single time he ever laid down a two, he would say. "T-U, two." Spelling out the T and U.

He loved to hunt and had a catfish pond with huge catfish that us kids would feed. He was know to kill a dog that wouldn't hunt or was gun-shy. Funny ole Texas boy thataway. They had a little dog, whose name has since escaped me, that would climb trees to fetch a squirrel.

Miss Annie could cook - man, talk about a feast! She'd cook all day long - bake 3 or 4 cakes and pies and fry up chicken, squirrel, rabbit, catfish. Add to this at least 10 side dishes. I would always try the wild game stuff but have never liked it - BUT you couldn't tell Miss Annie "no." One would leave their house full as a tick - it's a wonder I was able to keep my girlish figure!

They lived in a house that Coon built himself, before he asked Miss Annie to marry him. It was a great little white farmhouse house with wooden walls and floors but no insulation. She drove some beat up old car and he had an old truck that smoked like a chimney. They had an old box spring leaned against the side of the house that served as a TV antenna!

Now you'd think these folks were just poor ole Texans but NO! Coon was the first oil millionaire in the county. Every kid and grandkid they had was given land and a house - and that was alot of kids and grandkids! But, Coon would not spend a dime on anything else but the kids - "weren't no need."

We lost Coon back in 1993 and Miss Annie followed him this Christmas Eve. There will NEVER be another set of wonderful people like this and I'm sorry for those of you who did not get to enjoy them. Ole Texans are hard to come by! (me: crying as I write this)

Christmas Morning Delight

While sipping coffee and staring aimlessly out the window Christmas morning, THIS was grazing in a grove of trees. I'm unsure where he may have came from as there are no game preserves that I know of in the area, but a delightful sight and wonderful gift nonetheless.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

How Did Your Blog Get It's Name?

Skittles asked her readers "how did your blog get it's name?" I find that interesting, so dear readers, I ask you the same!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Bestest Blog Carnival 1.2

The Bestest Blog of All Time is now taking submissions for the Bestest Blog Carnival: Edition 1.2. Entries must be received by December 24th and the topic is family. Ya know you’ve got some funny tales!

Bullet in the Head

This story of a gang member fighting to keep a bullet in his head has me wondering many things. Mainly why the MF was not killed. Another issue is why was the bullet not removed when the kid initially went to the emergency room? Then how did police miss him if he was in the ally of the business he had just robbed? Sounds like a pile of incompetence all around.

I'm sorry, but if you have a bullet in your head and it was not an accident, you ARE NOT a good kid.

Pimp the Nutcracker

This is cute - you get to pimp out the nutcracker. I borrowed this little tidbit from Woof Nanny .

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Depression Study

Very interesting

Stark Beauty

Simplicity at its finest: see Farm Girl's photo of a sunflower on Monday's post.

Bush Sr vs Bush Jr

Dumb ass is live on TV, so I have this thought: He should have a Vice President as stupid as Dan Quayle to take the attention away from his own stupidity. At least his loser daddy was smart enough to figure THAT out.

Reminds me - (just having graduated from college) my saying when pops was in office, "I can't get a job on a street corner."

X-Rated Jokes

Too lazy to write a real post, so here's some x-rated jokes:

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What do you do when your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you?
A: Shorten her chain.

Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.

Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in America.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Texas Tuesday: Texas Game Warden Field Notes

Interesting stories from Texas Game Warden reports. Texas Game Warden reports/. There are plenty more on their web site.

Pizza party
On Oct. 2, 2006 a Tom Green Co. game warden was putting the “sneak” on some unsuspecting illegal dove hunters and was trying to find a way to approach them unnoticed, when he heard an approaching vehicle behind him. At first, he thought it was more hunters coming to join the ones he was watching, but as the vehicle got closer he saw that it was a pizza delivery truck. Being the innovative warden that he is, the game warden quickly saw that a solution to his problem was at hand and quickly stopped the pizza truck. It just so happened that the driver was trying to locate the same hunters and deliver their pizza. The game warden convinced the driver that it would be a good idea if he assisted in the delivery of the pizza, and the driver consented to let him ride along. To say the least, the hunters’ jaws dropped when they saw a game warden getting out of the pizza delivery truck to delivery a pizza supreme and a few citations.

That had to be a sinking feeling
On June 5, 2006 the Camp County sheriff contacted the local game warden and requested help in the recovery of a vehicle sunk in Lake Bob Sandlin. The proud owner of a 2006 F-150 Ford pickup had driven to his lake house to retrieve a battery charger. He got out of his truck and turned around in time to see the truck race down the hill and into the lake. The truck floated for a short time before it sank approximately 50 feet from shore in 15 feet of water. The game warden was asked to SCUBA dive and connect a chain to the bumper hitch. When the vehicle was pulled from the lake, it was discovered that gearshift was in reverse instead of park. The vehicle had only 5,000 miles on the odometer and a beautiful leather interior.

Gotta run, Warden, but here’s my parole officer’s card
On March 6, 2006 an Orange County game warden to check a vehicle parked along an isolated county road in Vidor. Upon making contact with the driver, a crack pipe and hypodermic needle fell onto the roadway. A scuffle ensued, and the suspect jumped into a nearby swamp and fled into the woods after being pepper sprayed. Fortunately, the driver left his driver’s license and parole officer’s card in his vehicle. Two hours later the suspect returned to his residence where the game warden placed him under arrest for multiple violations, including tampering with physical evidence, resisting arrest, and evading arrest or detention

Owl catches woman
On Dec. 13, 2005 an Irion County game warden received an urgent call from the sheriff’s office stating that they had received a 911 call from a woman requesting a game warden. The caller reported that she had stopped on the roadside to assist an injured owl, and the owl had attacked her and now had its talons impaled in her leg and would not turn loose. The game warden called the woman and instructed her to place a towel or cloth over the owl’s head, try to remain calm and quiet and maybe the owl would release its hold. When the game warden arrived, he found the woman and her five children in the vehicle, but the owl had left the area. The grateful woman stated that she had done as instructed, the owl released its hold, and she kicked it into the ditch. The warden then advised her to get prompt medical attention for her wounds. The woman stated she would and that she would never touch another wild animal.

Freezer burn
On Dec. 17, 2005 a Bowie County game warden received a call from the Arkansas Game & Fish Commission that they had information on an illegal deer from their state that had been brought to Texas. The warden and an Arkansas warden located the residence and made contact with the owner. The owner stated his son had killed deer in Texas but not Arkansas. The father showed the officers two bucks in the freezer. They were whole, un-skinned and frozen solid since Thanksgiving. The father stated his son had killed one and his 5-year-old granddaughter killed the other around 8 a.m. on Nov. 24. The Texas warden checked for a hunting license through Houston communications, and it showed the son had bought a license Nov. 24 at 10:17 a.m. The Texas warden had the man contact his son. The son arrived and admitted to killing both deer and not tagging them. The son also stated that he had bought the license after the deer were killed. Citations were issued. The wardens had a hard time getting the deer out of the freezer because they were frozen together and to the freezer itself. After an hour of pouring hot water and also trying a water hose running on the deer, they still would not move. The son tied a chain around the deer being seized and tried pulling them out of the freezer with his vehicle, but no luck. That's when the homeowner got on his tractor, and with help dislodged it.

It was that sixth shot that did it
On the night of Oct. 28, 2005 a Cameron County Warden and three U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service refuge officers ran a decoy deer operation on the Laguna Atascosa National Wildlife Refuge. At 11 p.m. a truck with two subjects approached the intersection where the decoy was deployed and fired six shots from a .22 rifle. After a short pursuit the truck was stopped. The two Port Isabel locals commented that they knew it was a decoy when on the sixth shot, the right antler was shot off and the deer continued to just "Look at them." State and federal refuge cases were filed.

Mmm Good
A Harris County Game Warden answered a complaint regarding illegal sale of raccoons in Northeast Houston. The suspect was advertising the sale of wild hog meat with signs on his van, but after inspecting his freezer it was discovered that he had hidden 17 processed raccoons. The suspect did not have a trapper’s license and gave a written confession of the offense. Case pending.

Field Dressed
Jan, 2005 Wardens were checking a hunting camp right after dark. When the occupants of the camp came out to greet them, the wardens were somewhat concerned that one of the male hunters was wearing a dress or skirt. Being the professionals they are, they continued with the contact and found that the hunter had been successful in killing two turkeys, one of which was untagged and the other was improperly tagged. While receiving his citation, the Tarrant County hunter asked the wardens, "How do you like my new hunting dress?" They replied that it was nice, but it might be a little cool. The hunter replied that the wind did cause some problems. The dress turned out to be a "camouflage kilt." The hunter's wife stated that this was the new fad in hunting apparel, and she had bought the kilt for him.

Monday, December 18, 2006

No Mas thinks Big Strong Hubby is Lifesavers

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers.

He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver one at a time and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.

The children began to say:


Finally, the professor gave them all honey Lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments, none of the children could identify the taste.

Well" he said, "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled, "Everybody, spit them out - they're assholes!!!"

(Okay, promise this will be the only post where I refer to myself in third person - just feeling like kickking butt this morning)!

Adriano Moraes

Adriano Moraes is the first man in Professional Bull Rider history to win two, and then three, World Championships. He is also the oldest PBR at age 36 and man he is one hot Brazilian! Here is a photo of him with his wife.

Pardon my digression, I'm watching bullriding tonight and can't help myself looking at all those cuties in Wranglers and cowboy hats.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Twelve Diseases of Christmas

A perverted twist on our favorite Christmas song.

I borrowed this from
Miss Cellania.
Check her out; she has some great Christmas humor to share.

Do I Need to Post about Idiots?

Well, sure I do!!!

I had this comment from Aaron posted to my blog today:

"It seems good to Aaron that you moved away from the city of lights and weak men to become the woman who feed the animals and is there to make love to her strong husband. It is good to hear of a woman who knows her place as the aid to her strong husband who is the ruler of farm land. Most woman want the husband to be weak and take care of the children and wash the soapy dishes, you seem to need the award for knowing your place as a good woman. "

My response:

You Sweetheart are a frigging idiot and I deleted your fertilizer. Who refers to themself in the third person like that?

First, I bought this farm with MY money. Second, I run this place while my husband works in big "city of lights." Third, I do not have any freaking kids and hope for society's sake you don't either. Fourth you are correct, I do deserve an award.

But, hey, thanks for dropping some manure in my garden and providing me a much needed laugh, now move it along. Point taken.

Online Deals

A partial list of online deal-hunting communities:

(I have not checked out all of these yet but Boddit has an extensive list of freebies and free samples of stuff like Bluetooths and Swiffer Dusters, etc.)

FatWallet ( — An exhaustive site featuring forums for discussing deals and store ratings. — Frequently updated deals, online coupons and price searches.

Anandtech Hot Deals ( — The 'Hot Deals' section of this forum is made up of reader-generated posts about deals for electronics and software.

DealOne ( — A daily list of deals with forums and a store. — Coupons, newsletters and deals on Dell, HP and iPods.

Judy's Book ( — User-generated reviews and deals posted by members, including local businesses.

Boddit ( — Collects information from many of the major deal-hunting sites onto one frequently updated page.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Reason #169 to Carry a Gun

Someone needs to get militant on this http://black rapist in Baytown, Texas. Hubby is holding Glock and overnight bag!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Police Are Busy - True story

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said, "no."

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there are people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Negative Comments?

Some blogs provoke people for better or worse. However, we all have the freedom to express whatever we want to express. Thank you good ole USA!

I enjoy reading a variety of blogs. Some posts I don't agree with and some are interesting or humorous. I also suspect that some take poetic license with their writings - that's great and that is what's so cool: being able to check out so many views of life!

Negative comments are sometimes welcome on one's blog. It gets the fertilizer flowing.

Check out Miss Anonymous on Platy's recent comments - it's a jab in the crotch but thought provoking. Also see some of the strange comments on Gut Rumbles old posts before July 2006. (He passed in June 2006).

While I would like to post some really crazy stories of my life, my mother reads occasionally and I don't want to insult or disrespect her by writing about the time I dropped acid and ran nekked in the woods. She'd freak. (Not that she was never privy to my screwups).

Bestest Blog of All Time / is a regular read for me. Bobby is tasteful and, damn, the man helps out all bloggers by showcasing their individual talents. So for me to read that people are dissing others for winning "Best Blog of the Day" is disheartening. Come on assholes - no blog is better than the other. It's all about individual taste. And to insult other's blogs just ain't tactful.

Blog on dear readers!

Last Minute Gifts

Bedroom Slippers are something everyone enjoys on cold winter mornings. The cushier, the better. These homemade slippers do not require any sewing capabilities:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles*
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light day, and Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Empress - Wow, It's Accurate

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Caroling on the Bridge

For the third year Joppa, Texas is holding Caroling on the Bridge (see pixs) both this Friday and Saturday at 7 PM I attended last year, although my voice wasn't up to par due to having thyroid surgery a few weeks before. It was so much fun. There was only 10 of us on the historic light-covered bridge. We had hot chocolate and lots of snacks and sang ourselves into bliss. Good ole fashioned fun!

Now ya know I'm old when I don't want to go to the clubs and throw down!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Fruitcake Lady Offers Advice

Marie Rudisill

Gun Control Testimony

A friend emailed me this wonderful little tidbit.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Texas Tuesday: Taxdollars at Work

Folks, I'm just too depressed and irritable to write a REAL post today. So, I thought y'all could join my mood by reading this crap.

Instead of jail, the dude should be given a vasectomy and put to work.

AND: While I agree with Phoenix's view about the right to bear arms,

making it legal for a blind person to hunt is just stupid.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Finally a Cure!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Party Time

It's that time of year to attend the parties one really doesn't want to attend and to kiss up to those one doesn't want to kiss up to.

Ya can't go empty handed!

Head on over to My House is Cuter than Yours and concoct her delightful Astro Holiday Anguish Alleviation Hors d'oeuvre Tree !

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Best Blog Surfing

On lazy afternoons, such as today, the best place to surf blogs (that word "burf" doesn't sound pleasing to me) is The Bestest Blog of All Time. Bobby has spent many volunteer hours bringing attention to some of the more entertaining blogs. So, check him out!

Making A Statement

Used to be a time when getting shed of a uni-brow was important.

Yet, some folks don't much care about looking presentable.

Banjo On My Mind

The nature of farming involves just that: the natural evolution of life and death.

The births of new animal babies are always awesome. The wonder of discovery and play for the baby is especially exciting to me. "Hurry get the camara, fill-in-babies-name is chasing a chicken." "So-and-so is romping in the field." Days filled watching babies is the most in entertainment!

Then there is the economic aspect of death and the accidental deaths. This is the part of farming I will never get accustomed to - the part that breaks my heart.

The death of humans does not hurt me nearly as much, as most people are just assholes, but most animals are loving, trusting and caring beings. I've never killed a person but do not think I would hesitate to say shoot the bitch that microwaved her baby.

The first Longhorn born here on the farm has to go. LL Banjo Rocket King is going to become food this Sunday.

Despite being a registered Longhorn steer, he is really worthless for anything other than the fact his daddy was an award winning show bull and he is georgeous to look at.

I remember the day he was born, June 5, 2004. We were making farm rounds on the golf cart when I spotted him with his mother. Picture me diving off the cart, yelling, "Baby" and running to hold him. So precious and newly damp.

Even now he's sweet looker and he comes to his name, Banjo. In fact, I have been "special feeding" him sweet feed and corn for the past month, knowing the day was coming: December 10th.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have named him but I really did expect to keep him - wishful thinking!? But such is the nature of farming.

Will I be able to eat the hamburger or steak he will provide? I don't know. We will retain his hide and horns. Will I be able to tolerate seeing his beautiful hide and awesome horns? Time will tell. However, I will not be the person with deer heads and cattle horns on my wall.

(Sorry no pix - maybe later. I don't have access to my home server to upload pix - that's another story....)

Friday, December 08, 2006

Cowboy Boots

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help & she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month .

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Something Fun

M&M's has released bold new colors !

I haven't bought candy in forever although the widening of my behind might suggest otherwise (it's just AGE - I can't be a size 3 forever).

Imagine my delight when I checked out M&M's website and discovered that M&M's come in packages of pink and can even be monogrammed. Too cool.

Of course, I should have realized that candy, just like everything else in this day and age, would go overboard with choices. Plain ole chocolate was just fine with me. Remember in school the "eat green ones will make you horney"? (Like we knew what that meant).

"Melt in your mouth, not in your hand" slogan is kinda scary. What do they coat them with to prevent melting???

Well, I liked to place a bag of M&M's on a heating pad to get the chocolate melted inside - that was always the best. Y'all should try it.

So I think I'll go candy shopping today!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

That "N" Word

Why are people in such an uproar about comedians using the "n" word? Is is because they are white?

Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock are applauded for ranting the "n" word throughout their monologues. Then there are the rappers who use it constantly in their songs.

While I don't condone the use of this word, I don't think it is any more offensive than some other words. Afterall, this word officially means shiftless and lazy. Intonation and context is the key to a word being offensive. Richard's remarks were meant to be offensive, but come on, Andy Dick is just a dick (and THAT word can be good or bad).

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Reached 500 Views

I see that some people enjoy my ramblings - my counter has reached 500 views! Thanks readers and especially commenters/fertilizers in my garden of words.

Texas Tuesday: Spicewood Vineyards

Some places just feel like home. Spicewood Vineyards tucked between Austin and Marble Falls, Texas is such a wonderful little jewel.

The proprietors, Ed and Madeleine Manigold (and their Jack Russell terriers) immediately make everyone feel at ease with their personable hospitality. The cedar and stone facility is beautiful, as well.

Every month they hold numerous events. My personal favorites involve food pairings, but a lazy Sunday drive through the Hill Country with a stop for wine almost as enjoyable. A don't miss is the harvesting event held each summer.

After harvesting, the grapes deemed not up to par for wine-making must be removed from the vines. (These are bunches that have a few undeveloped grapes on them). It has been a few years since I participated; however, the time we went with another couple, Madeleine let us clip grapes and then she crushed them in a giant grape juicer. Being the only ones there that early Saturday morning, we left with two huge ice chests filled with juice. We then spent the weekend in my kitchen making 12 cases of the best ever jelly. I have one jar remaining as I relay this info.

While the Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot Nouveau (a good "table-like" wine) are among my favorites that they produce, the white varietals are equally good, having won many awards.

There are numerous other wineries in the area but this is my favorite just because it feels like home to me. So meander out to the Hill Country and visit our fabulous Texas wineries. I believe that some states can even receive shipments nowadays.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Blogger Problems

Is anyone else out there having problems posting comments? I'm only having this problem with certain blogs not everyone. Tech doesn't have this listed as a "Known Issue" but everytime I can't post a comment, I get an error message stating that the administrator has been notified. I've checked all the help and it seems that there is only one other person asking about this problem in the help groups. Helpo helpo! Beta blogging seems to be developing even more kinks.

Roasted Sweet Potato Fries

Cold weather food needed! I think these would be a great accompaniment to a bowl of soup. Anyone have a soup suggestion?

1 tablespoon olive oil, divided
2 large sweet potatoes (about 1-1/4 lb.)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon brown sugar

Brush an aluminum foil-lined pan with 2 tsp. olive oil. Heat pan in a 425° oven 5 minutes.

Peel sweet potatoes, and cut into 3- x 1/2-inch strips. Combine strips, salt, chili powder, brown sugar, and remaining 1 tsp. oil in a large zip-top plastic freezer bag, tossing to coat.

Place strips in a single layer in prepared pan.

Bake at 425° for 30 minutes or until crisp, stirring every 10 minutes.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Oh Boy - Leslie Magnets

Years ago I spotted this woman with long blonde hair standing on a street corner in a bikini. Being that I was in an affluent part of town, it was shocking that the police hadn't already knocked her in the head and thrown her in the patrol car.

Hell, I look in my rear view as I passed her and it had a full-faced black beard. Ugh - good night Charlie! Well this thing is now popular in the Austin area and
Wikipedia even knows who he is.

So in today's Austin American Mis-Statesman, I see that some fool had the idea to sell Leslie magnets. What's worse they are selling like candy at Halloween.

Guess people would rather throw money away than donate to a worthy cause. Goodness knows I'd rather support a chosen-to-be-homeless (he's been offered jobs) cross-dresser than provide a meal or clothing for an elderly person. F-wads.

Reality Show Bullshit

Who watches this crap? I guess there are perverts that like watching teenage Hos kiss each other in the hot tub then do every guy in the house - The Real World season 20 - how does this crap get renewed?

Solitary - these folks must be getting paid to do this crap. Why would anyone volunteer to endure torture for a measly amount of money? Hey, let us blare a siren in your ear for 15 hours straight and by the way, you can't eat or sleep during that time. Garbage

Flavor of Love - let's hope this gold-capped-toothed fool has found his love so we aren't subjected to bypassing his crappy show while trying to find something decent on tv anymore. I can't believe the one nightmare clip I saw where he ousted an internet pole dancer cause his kids might not approve. What the f--k? His entire show was full of whores shaking their stuff.

Just had to bitch - it's 3 am, I pay $70 a month for satellite and there is crap on TV.

Oooh, just found MSNBC Special on murder - yeah!!!!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Orca Attacks Trainer

It is astounding that people freak when a provoked wild animal attacks a human. Come on folks - it's a wild animal. Hell, if I try to hold down one of my cats just to medicate it, I'll surely get scratched. No brainer.

In fact, I have been bitten by my own kitties at least twice in my life (it was really my own fault - breaking up encounters with unfriendly dogs, etc.) and be warned that it will always require a trip to the doctor due to infection within 24 hours.

That said, I couldn't help recalling the following
Carlos Mencia's skit:

From Judge Carlos

A family is suing Seaworld because they found their 27 year old son, dead and naked, in Shamu's pen.

Look if you're 27 and you're still living at home with your mom and dad you ought to just 86 yourself right then and there.

The lawsuit also contends that the gifts at the gift shop don't show the nature of these vicious animals. Yeah I'm sure the name "Killer Whale" doesn't mean he'll swallow you whole. If someone said there were some killer Mexicans living next to you you wouldn't want to hang out with them.

"But Judge Carlos, I thought Shamu loves everybody."


Can I get an Amen, what do you say Ghost of Johnny Cochran.

Ghost Of Johnny Cochran: If you swim with the fishes, you be dead sumbitches.