Friday, May 18, 2007

OnLine Personal Part 4 - Descriptions

A few of my matches, in their own words:


"I am a man....not really looking for long termish, just laid back friendship. getting to know girls, ladies and woman for friendships and possibly more."

"looking for women between the ages of 40 and 70"

"I guess I would say that I'm normal in the sense that I'm not a mass murderer or a drug dealer or anything."

"i like a woman that knows what she wants and keeps her house clean"

"Pirate in search of lost bootyOk wenches here's the deal. I shall throw caution to the wind, and put my cards on the table. If you are looking to find your "Knight in Shining Armor", then I suggest you just keep on looking!"

"I am a semi-retired,widow. I am going to school to be a psychologist. maybe I'll find whats wrong with me!"

"don't be salty if it take a brotha a minute to respond"

"HEY WATS UP IAM JOHN FROM PALESTINE TX 21 AND SINGLE- I HAD A GF SHE DUMPED FOR STUPID STUFF SAYING IAM EMOTIONAL AND STUFF MAN THAN SHE SAID I DONT CARE SHE STOOD ME UP ON VALINTIENES DAY AND BROKE UP WIT ME THIER IS NO HOPE. I WILL TAKE THE GURL OUT SOME WERE NICE AND TAKE THEM TO DA MOVIES."

"ABOUT ME,WELL IVE MARRIED BEFORE AT LEAST ONCE I THINK AND IM READY FOR A WOMAN THATS, TO BEGIN WITH,NOT OVERWEIGHT,SORRY BUT THE LAST 3 LADIES IVE HAD WERE LARGE AND CLAIMED THEY WERE GONNA LOSE IT . IF NOT TOO LARGE FOR MY HARLEY,LIKE TO DRINK A LITTLE BEER AND HAVE A LOT OF GOOD SEX WITH YOUR MAN THEN LETS TALK! "

"i am not a perv, so no worries"

"WELL IMA DUDE DAT LIKES TO TRY ALL THINGS. LIKE TO GET ****ED UP AND DO ****ED UP sh*tAT TIMES."

"I've been married twice. The third will be the charmer. "

"Mama tried to raise me better....."

"first you should know there is nothing left on the right side of my brain and theres nothing right on the left."

" i love my mother, i have nice teeth and i shower regualarly. im a real go getter."

"okay here goes nothing.... Iam a normal 27 year old guy who doesnt have a clue what hes doin."

"Yo, im crazy passionate, hopless romantic, with a horrible attitude."

"I was born on the highest peak of the Smokey mountains. My daddy ran moonshine and my grandpa was the town doctor."

"I am a big dark brother that is looking for a sweet lady that loves to have fun and sometimes feel like getting a little freaky."

"i am looking for sex, no strings. i love to please women-i love to be pleased. nothing is hotter than a womans body-i have a nice 8 inch****and i love to suck on wet p---y. " (now this is straightforward)

"i like to go riding on the greyhound for fun ."

" i use to skateboard a lot, but since i purchased a truck all i have time to do is pay bills and hang out!"

"my names buck, friends call me ghost. i'm about 6"3', 230 pounds, atheltic. i'm very pugnacious."

"Charlie Daniels Long haired country boy . thats kinda how i feel im not a perfectiones't by any means I do have my own standers i try to live by . i have a dry sence of hummer with a good hart ! "

"im a college student, im always listening to music of all kinds, i draw, paint, sculpt, sketch and alot of digital graphics as well, im at the gym alomst every day, but i drink...kind of alot and i only smoke when i get drunk. "

"whats goin on folks im nate...um...describin myself...well 9 tats 1 piercing (soon to be more)...tattoos are fun...um i like to work on my truck way to damn much..tryin to get back into partyin alot ."

"I have a bachelor's degree but have not yet found a career. I am independent so no need to worry about that."

"im a oil field trash kinda guy lookin for a woman who knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. "

"im tired of liers and cheaters that dont know what so they have fun by playing games which i always lose and stay with the prize of sadness and pain. "

"hello i like to a big woman and big hooter "

"I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there. "

"Lookin 4 WOMEN 2 feed me THIER LOVe BoX"

"Do you want to know what makes me different from other guys is my capablity to hide under the bed, behind curtins, my ability to stay quiet in the closet for long periods of time. "

"For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address. "

" I can hang out if that's all you want-our encouters will be few. I can hang with dancing,partying and pure sex-our encopunters will be often."

" am verbally abusive and have a hair trigger temper. I once hit my mother with a broom stick 'cause she did me wrong. Fisticuffs have left me face scared. my nose resembles a sweet potato. I drink from about 3:00pm until I pass out( usally about 4:00am).somehow I managed to become a semi -famous writer and painter despite myself."

"There are alot of guys on this site, almost a sausage fest! But how many of these guys really know how to treat a woman sexualy?"

19 comments:

Hammer said...

Oh Jesus, They let 5th graders and the criminally insane join those sites?

Demon23... said...

Wow.... some mighty fine winners there.

Please understand that these ... uh... men do not represent all of our gender... there is guys like me, wait never mind... go lesbian.

NoMas said...

Hammer: no kidding!

Demon: You are correct, my dear. Yeah, right - you're taken - but I still am not going down the other woman highway! Besides, I have a hot date tonight - see my recent post.

Wally Banners said...

lmao each a keeper lmao. Hmm I thought I was weird. DAM!

lover boy with a cowboy hat said...

I was going to say choose this one: "I was born on the highest peak of the Smokey mountains. My daddy ran moonshine and my grandpa was the town doctor." but, there are so many better. Ah, what a Dilemma: n.: A state of things in which evils or obstacles present themselves on every side, and it is difficult to determine what course to pursue; a vexatious alternative or predicament; a difficult choice or position.

You're better off with Elvis!

Hey! maybe you'd like to take a chance on me?

LOL

NoMas said...

Wally: u r weird - that's one of the reasons I like ya so much!

NoMas said...

Lover: I wish it wasn't such a dilemma for you cause I know - isn't that the adage: if you aren't looking, you'll find. Excuse my language bur f- Elvis my thought are at home.

NoMas said...

of course I'm the true thing - if you work for it.

lover boy said...

Mmmmmmmmmm, putting on my hard hat right now!

NoMas said...

well, it hasn't been too hard for you to have me submit, dahlin.

NoMas said...

i will play that game if you want to despite....

lover boy said...

I'm at a loss for words!

Loving Annie said...

Yuck !!!!! Ick ! Oh, and I thought my experiences with match.com were bad ! Ugh. My sympathy ! I think about one in 500 is a decent guy on there...
I don't think ANY of those guys would know how to treat a woman well sexually. They haven't had a clue how to approach her intellectually or emotionally, so how could they be skillful in any other way ???
Keep looking, Nomas... There's got to be a pony somewhere in all that sh** !

NoMas said...

Sweet Annie: It is sickening to receive so many emails about "rosie palms" as an opening line. Most of those ponies need to go to the glue farm!

Are you still out of town?

Loving Annie said...

Good Saturday morning Nomas !

Nope, I'm back home now ! I love going away, but I equally love being back home.

That was my last vacation for 5 years now. I've got a 5 year plan to pay off my mortgage, so that means that play-time and other assorted extravagances are over...

Let's put it this way about on;-ine dating - in my first (and only) month on match.com, I got 'viewed' 4,500 times in 6 weeks, and got 500 (approximately) e-mails asking me out.

Of those 500, only TEN were worth even initially responding to; and of those, only ONE guy was what I would have called a decent, solid, intelligent, well-mannered, good guy.

And unfortunately, after we spoke on the phone a half-dozen times and then met for drinks/appetizers one afternoon at a beautiful place by the ocean, there was just no chemistry there on either side...

I only had maybe a dozen out of the 500 guys that e-mailed say anything rude or stupid/inappropriate in their initial e-mails, and I just ignored it and them because my guess is that there e-mails were generic garbage they sent to every woman anyway in hopes someone would respond.

I found the entire experience discouraging on the whole. I would have much rather only TEN guys ask me out in a month -- and had them be decent guys, even if nothing came of it, rather than being bombarded by people who clearly demonstrate from the beginning that they aren't listening to you (because they ignore what you say you want on your profile, such as age or geogaphic location or they still aren't divorced/marital status) and couldn't care less if you have anything in common.

I'm not outgoing enough to think there are tons of great guys out there and meet them all over the place...

Some women think match.com is fabulous - I don't want to date just to be dating.

I want to date because it's someone who knows what he wants, and we want the same things, so you meet and you see if you like talking to each-other, hanging out together...

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, Nomas, and you keep them crossed for me, okay ?

NoMas said...

Annie: you got it - my legs are crossed too, damn it.

Did you see my post about Tracey aka Minx receiving diamond earrings from her fellow because she threw a fit about him planning a vacation without her! And she was wondering if she should take him back - crazy girl.

Loving Annie said...

Hi again Nomas,
I'd have to have the whole history to make a call on that one...

Diamonds plus consistently great behavior certainly make him a keeper.

Diamonds plus erratic behavior or frustrating head games make someone to say thank you, take your earrings back, I don't want to live with this emotioonal heartache just because of a few rocks...

Then again, maybe he has a side to the story we haven't heard.

Incomplete info., I think, cynic that I am !

P.S. I'm not trying to act like most guys are pond scum. Only that I want someone who fits with me, good and bad. Where I have to offer the things I am asking for in return in terms of interests and values and ethics.

NoMas said...

Anne: you can read Tracey's (Mom the Minx)post regarding the situation - guess I had the insight on that one that you didn't have.

I think I'll follow Katherine Hepburn's advice: Why suffer the wrath of one man when you can have the admiration of many.

Mermaid said...

I met everyone of those guys at some point.....that's why I'm not looking anymore!!