Friday, March 02, 2007

Questions And Answers About Partnerships

Wife: Honey: " What are You Looking for?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was just looking 4 the expiration date."
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
One Woman Brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure, what are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes and no."
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
Husband: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Husband: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, What other problem can there be greater than this one
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE."
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "Billionaire."
Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever."
The guy replies: "Thanks for the warning."
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."


Loving Annie said...

Cynical humor.... ouch. I so want to believe in happiness and hope still. Marriage can't be THAT bad or people wouldn't be doing it every weekend, right ???

How are you doing today, Nomas ?

Loving Annie said...

p.s. NoMas,
I STILL want to adopt that kitten !

btw, me and the tooth fairy and the easter bunny are the ones that believe in true love and happily ever after... And did you notice that the three of us are SINGLE ???

BBC said...

Funny ones.. :-)

I'm learning


That the key to my personal happiness is to avoid relationships with the women available to me.

Sad but true.


Oh well, I have a wonderful neighbor in Helen.

Hammer said...

Funny stuff. Reminds me of the catskill one liner comedians

Loving Annie said...

Just came by on Monday to say hello and see how you were doing NoMas --

Flyinfox_SATX said...

From Lyle Lovett:

The Preacher asked her, and she said "I do"
The Preacher asked me, she said, "He does too."
The Preacher said, "I pronounce you 99 to life."
"Son she no lady she's your wife."

Thank you Lyle.


NoMas said...

Anne: I still believe that Katherine Hepburn had it correct: Why marry and have the wrath of one man for the rest of your life when you could have the admiration of many. That's funny about the three singles!

BBC: There must be one good one out of 100 bad ones!

Hammer: sometimes short IS sweet.

Fox: Love Lyle.