Monday, February 12, 2007

Tired of Feeling Used?

Everyone feels taken advantage of at some point. Whether it is non-reciprocation of feelings or users bumming money (as in Hammer's case).
I discovered Blu Jewel's blog today and her post of February 2nd is very uplifting, in addtition to reflecting my mood of late. I borrowed this from her and truly hope she doesn't mind - go check out her site! She's gonna be my new read! Thank you Blu.

Blu's post verbatim:

I lifted this from Honey Libra

Expecting life to treat you well because you're a good person; is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.--Shari R. Barr

When I read this I first laughed, but then the reality of it set in as being completely true. I'm one of those people who'll do just about anything for anyone without wanting anything in return. I've always been told it's a good quality trait to have; however, I've sometimes found it to work to my disadvantage because people have tended to take advantage of me and/or my kindness. Nowadays I'm a little less willing to over extend myself for a few reasons:

1. Because it's simply not healthy

2. It's exhausting to be nice/kind all the time because it can compromise my own happiness

3. Because sometimes it would be nice to have an action reciprocated

Cashing the reality check was as much needed as my vegetarian ass being charged by the bull. All that aside, I still tend to be a good person, not because I want to be treated in the same fashion I treat others, but simply because that's the type of person I am. I'm not going to go from zero to bitch faster than a Porsche because someone said or did something I don't like. Life consists of shitty things and shitty people and just because I'm a good person, doesn't mean others are. Some people are inherently bad and there's little anyone can do to change them.

My humble opinion is this; if you're a good person, be proud of that. Don't expect others to appreciate or reciprocate it. Do what you do because you wanted to and call it a day.


L>T said...

That is really thought provoking. it's funny how some people who think everyone should acknowledge their "goodness" get pissed when we don't.

Loving Annie said...

Very good post from her. Thanks for the perspective, Nomas !

And thank you for the kind words on my blog today, as well. You made good sense, and you made me feel taken care of just when I needed it.

Hope all is well with you. Does the new bunny have a name yet ???

NoMas said...

Tart: Funny you think of it that way. I often feel that some people "force" their friendship upon me by calling often and giving gifts. Then I don't know how to respond because I just don't open up very easily. On the other hand, once I finally open up to someone and they suddenly stop returning calls or disappear from my life altogether, I feel hurt and resentful in a sense.

NoMas said...

Anne: UR welcome. I haven't named bunny yet. I thought I'd try to get a sense of his personality before I attach a name to him. Also, I will take pictures soon. He is still skittish and I don't want to scare him. He seems to have settled in somewhat today - lying on his side with little paws kicked out! I talk to him alot so he will become accustomed to me.

Hammer said...

Interesting, I'm probably guilty of wanting people to be kind to me because I am good to them.

People aren't ever kind unless they are that way to begin with.

Good post, I think I learned something.

NoMas said...

Hammer: I learned something as well - now if I can follow the advice and stop feeling resentful of perceived users!