Friday, February 02, 2007

Sensitive Subject


A US underwear manufacturer has invented pants designed to hide the smell of flatulence.

The Under-Ease pants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool.

To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs.

Under-Tec president and inventor Buck Weimer said: "Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas."

"We get a lot of jokes - but we don't doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose."

"They can be worn anytime, anywhere - in bed, to work, at social events, including professional meetings or when travelling in any vehicle, including an airplane."

A COUPLE OF TESTIMONIALS:



I am a 60 year old, married professional woman having raised 3 sons. For the past 32 years of my life, I've suffered with Crohns Disease, and Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome which causes symptoms of diarrhea and excessive foul smelling gas. The embarrassment and consequent social anxiety would many times actually increase these symptoms.


I am a clinical psychologist in private practice and it has been tremendously embarrassing when I pass gas while working; often with little or no control. The most embarrassing moment of my working career was when a client said,"It smells like sewage in here!" My professionalism melted when I admitted to the client that my gas was the cause of the smell.


My devoted husband of 30 years had also struggled with sleeping in the same bed with me, and it would sometimes interfere with our intimacy. My children could laugh at it, but would leave the room. I noticed an increase in my symptoms when I was embarrassed about the foul smelling gas.


On one Thanksgiving night, as my husband and I were lying in bed after a wonderful dinner, the foul smell became unbearable for both of us. My husband ruminated, thinking,"I can't divorce my wife over this, but I have to do something." At that moment, he began to develop the idea of a pair of air-tight underwear with a filter that would eliminate the foul smell. For the next few months he researched filter materials and made a prototype of the underwear.


For the past 5 years, I have worn these underwear when I've had an acute Crohns attack with complete security. There has been no trace of bad gas odors. My social anxiety and embarrassment has been eliminated. In fact, I noticed I pass less gas when I wear the underwear, because I am calm, secure, and comfortable.

AND:


"I am a circus performer and for years I have been embarrassed to pass gas on stage. People in the audience sometime thinks its part of the act but it isn't. Because of your wonderful product today my audience laughs at my gags and not my gas."

6 comments:

Hammer said...

LOL that would be a perfect Paid advertisement.

Instead of gas mask it's an ass mask.

Sarge Charlie said...

funny, i am sorry but you will see your photo again, i stole it.....

Loving Annie said...

Eeeeew, Nomas !!!! Stinky ! Now THAT is a problem I'm grateful not to have !!!

Hope you have a good weekend.

Andrew said...

Okay, that is really, really scary!! Not to mention how uncomfortable it must be to wear underwear that doesn't breathe at all. Yuck.

Andrew (To Love, Honor, and Dismay)

Dick said...

No way they could have helped.
It was that bad.

Lady Skye Fyre said...

What a story. This belongs right up there with the best of them at http://www.poopreport.com/ where, I'm happy to admit, I'm the Psychic Pooper.