Sentemtality

Aw, since I am feeling the love from some of my personal friends, I decided to share a little with my dear blogger friends!


Interesting Health Fact

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve
that connects the eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for
giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your arse and
see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.

Texas Tuesday: Friends

Texas Friends:

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Will say "hello".
TEXAS FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing and just being
together, and then clean up.

FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' ass's that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

FRIENDS: Are for a while.
TEXAS FRIENDS: Are for life.

X-Rated Revisited Questions & Answers, et al

Dear Readers: My apologies for neglecting you. I have been busy with numerous projects and promise to visit each of you soon. A big thank you to STARRLIGHT for mentioning me as a

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.



Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?

A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.



Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: Wiped his ass.



Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.



Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

A: The cake jumps out of the girl.



Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

A: Put a nipple on it



Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak



Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?

A: You push it to the side before you start eating.



Q: What do you do when your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you?

A: Shorten her chain



Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.



Q: How is a woman like a condom?

A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.



Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?

A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to pop your bone in.



Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?

A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking and in the end you lose your house.



Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim are already in America.



Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.



Q: What's brown and often found in children's underpants?

A: Michael Jackson's hand.



Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?

A: So they can piss and moan at the same time.



Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl! When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or>spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up."

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Friday Freakies

This guy loved his tattoo until he was convicted and sent to the penitentiary.

What Type of Candy Are You?

(Lazy, but fun post)

You scored as 3 Musketeers, You are a 3 Musketeers. You are a very loyal and romantic person - you love to cuddle! You enjoy simple pleasures and are very content with your life. You have lots of friends and everyone you meet likes you! 3 Musketeers 70% Twix 65% Skittles/Gummi Bears 60% Hershey Bar 60% Jolly Ranchers 55% M&M\'s 50% KitKat/Crunch Bar 35% Reese's Peanut Butter Cup 35% *What Type of Candy Are You?* (w/pics.) created with QuizFarm.com

Will I Live To Be 85?

(Having a mini-meltdown, so taking a mini break. Enjoy a laugh!)

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking Him, "Do you think I'll live to be 85?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, Hiking, or bicycling?"

No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a shit?"

MAYA ANGELOU POEM

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...HOW TO QUIT A JOB, BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...whom she can trust,whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table...or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

On-Line Personals: Part 5: Descriptions #2

Description: The Basis of all Interaction

Finding the right person involves thoughtful wording in your description. Such as the following which are verbatim:


"Does anyone have a pulse anymore?

"I really hate this part, but here we go. I see no need to paint a picture of what im not. Im very laid back. Its the little things in life that matter. If you dont realize this, we shouldnt talk."

"I'm a single father of my 6 yr old son. We're sports freaks! I travel all around DFw for my job. Living life day by day! I'm laid back, don't care to fight or argue. Just want to have fun!!!!! " (means he wants a babysitter and a maid so that he can lie on the couch and watch sports all day and hey, while he travels, you watch the kid)

"No fatties--wealthy onlyI only want one woman"

"My name is Brion with a O yes.. a O.... as in outstanding."

"It seems like the more I learn about myself the more I realize how little I know about myself. If you even remotely understood the previous sentence then you have scored some points already."

"Lean towards women that are smaller, not dominating and are open to experiencing new things with me...." (potential rapist)

"TOO HANDSOME FOR PICS" " "OK I CAN T TELL YOU MY NAME MY PHONE NUMBER OR ADDRESS, LIKES I THINK I ALREADY SAID IN MY INTEREST AND BY SFISHING I DON T MEAN WITH A POLE I MEAN ONLINE FISHING, OK , I LOVE A WOMAN TO COOK FOR ME BECAUSE I CANT COOK WORTH A .......

"looking for some fun. Go out drinking, maybe a little fun. I like seafood and steak. I like a woman with a soft touch but can be forcefull, when she wants to be."

"coon ass is the best kinda of ass im just a country boy i guess you could say i dont know what im looking for but im open for anything i have been devoiced for a bout a year and i really just want to have fun but who knows what may com."

ALERT: Tonight is the Blue Full Moon and is alleged to be magical when gazed upon and wishes made.

One Way To Look At It

Well, I am just in the mood to stay in bed all day - if only I could. So with that in mind, let us start the day with a sense of humor. Have a wonderful day blogger friends!

A wife and her husband were sitting at a table at his high school reunion, and he kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

His wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," he sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My goodness!" says the wife, Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

View For Hammer & An Online Apology

Hammer: For your aforementioned eyes (yours too, Slick):


I am a Libra, ya know, so don't unbalance my scales of justice!

An online apology, in the form of a poem, for mentioning a topic I deemed offensive (I still do not think I will date him):

With my mouth filled
by my foot once again
It was never my intent
of you to offend.
Not thinking about
the subject I chose
What the heck I thinking
God only knows.
No hidden meaning
was it supposed to imply
Nor was there anything
that I was attempting to try.
And now do I hope
you will try overlook
My poor judgment of topic
that I unwittingly took.

SW

Time Out - Going to Get My Car Washed

Things We Can Learn From A Dog - Great Dating Tips

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under shady trees.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.

Bond with your pack.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

Don't go out without ID.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon asyou're dragged out from under the bed!)

If at first you don't succeed, whine real loud.

Don't settle for cheap food.

Play nicely with others, but remind them that it's your toy.

Rainy days are best spent indoors.

When a loud thunderstorm comes at night, and the ones you need to impress with your bravery are asleep, it's okay to hide under the bed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Editors note: Thanks to those of you who privately emailed me to offer support. You truely are dear cyber-friends.

Spoke to my husband to verify that he would never just serve me divorce papers without discussing said fact. He is a very good man and I know he would never attempt to hurt me. In fact let me say he never once spoke unkindly to me in 16 years - always a true Southern gentleman.

He also verified that he was indeed seeing someone else but that "she is no substitute for you" and "your name is on my lips everyday" but "we have to dissolve this."

Okay, so I was wallowing in my own pity but pulled myself together and got my girlfriend through her horrible day.

It Never Stops

GIRLFRIEND WAS SERVED DIVORCE PAPERS TODAY - PLEASE, FOR MY SANITY, HOPE THE SAME ISN'T HAPPENING TO ME TODAY. HER HUBBY AND MINE ARE FRIENDS WITH PLANS....

Broken Hearted Idiot

Okay, blogger comments seems to be missing on today's post so please just use this section. I'll be back later for hopefully encouraging comments. Otherwise I just need a valium to get through this day.

Thanks Starrlight for notifying me.

What's a Broken Hearted Girl To Do?

Why stomp tears!

Scratch one thing I had never done off my list: dancing on a bar. I just had to join this cute little number Saturday night when she invited me. And check out the awesome silver bracelet a friend gave me!

How Slick is Slick?

The newlyweds have returned.

While his sweetheart is in the honeymoon suite, Slick is down at the blackjack table. In his own words:

“Yup, count me in” I said in my best southern macho drawl full of confidence and shit…

Go over and give him hell....

Hot Date Tonight

Being cute, open, honest, giving, loving, caring, understanding - all the exceptional qualities that make me ME - I was able to snag a date with this hottie. Wish me luck!

AND A HAPPY 44th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS! WAY TO GO.

OnLine Personal Part 4 - Descriptions

A few of my matches, in their own words:


"I am a man....not really looking for long termish, just laid back friendship. getting to know girls, ladies and woman for friendships and possibly more."

"looking for women between the ages of 40 and 70"

"I guess I would say that I'm normal in the sense that I'm not a mass murderer or a drug dealer or anything."

"i like a woman that knows what she wants and keeps her house clean"

"Pirate in search of lost bootyOk wenches here's the deal. I shall throw caution to the wind, and put my cards on the table. If you are looking to find your "Knight in Shining Armor", then I suggest you just keep on looking!"

"I am a semi-retired,widow. I am going to school to be a psychologist. maybe I'll find whats wrong with me!"

"don't be salty if it take a brotha a minute to respond"

"HEY WATS UP IAM JOHN FROM PALESTINE TX 21 AND SINGLE- I HAD A GF SHE DUMPED FOR STUPID STUFF SAYING IAM EMOTIONAL AND STUFF MAN THAN SHE SAID I DONT CARE SHE STOOD ME UP ON VALINTIENES DAY AND BROKE UP WIT ME THIER IS NO HOPE. I WILL TAKE THE GURL OUT SOME WERE NICE AND TAKE THEM TO DA MOVIES."

"ABOUT ME,WELL IVE MARRIED BEFORE AT LEAST ONCE I THINK AND IM READY FOR A WOMAN THATS, TO BEGIN WITH,NOT OVERWEIGHT,SORRY BUT THE LAST 3 LADIES IVE HAD WERE LARGE AND CLAIMED THEY WERE GONNA LOSE IT . IF NOT TOO LARGE FOR MY HARLEY,LIKE TO DRINK A LITTLE BEER AND HAVE A LOT OF GOOD SEX WITH YOUR MAN THEN LETS TALK! "

"i am not a perv, so no worries"

"WELL IMA DUDE DAT LIKES TO TRY ALL THINGS. LIKE TO GET ****ED UP AND DO ****ED UP sh*tAT TIMES."

"I've been married twice. The third will be the charmer. "

"Mama tried to raise me better....."

"first you should know there is nothing left on the right side of my brain and theres nothing right on the left."

" i love my mother, i have nice teeth and i shower regualarly. im a real go getter."

"okay here goes nothing.... Iam a normal 27 year old guy who doesnt have a clue what hes doin."

"Yo, im crazy passionate, hopless romantic, with a horrible attitude."

"I was born on the highest peak of the Smokey mountains. My daddy ran moonshine and my grandpa was the town doctor."

"I am a big dark brother that is looking for a sweet lady that loves to have fun and sometimes feel like getting a little freaky."

"i am looking for sex, no strings. i love to please women-i love to be pleased. nothing is hotter than a womans body-i have a nice 8 inch****and i love to suck on wet p---y. " (now this is straightforward)

"i like to go riding on the greyhound for fun ."

" i use to skateboard a lot, but since i purchased a truck all i have time to do is pay bills and hang out!"

"my names buck, friends call me ghost. i'm about 6"3', 230 pounds, atheltic. i'm very pugnacious."

"Charlie Daniels Long haired country boy . thats kinda how i feel im not a perfectiones't by any means I do have my own standers i try to live by . i have a dry sence of hummer with a good hart ! "

"im a college student, im always listening to music of all kinds, i draw, paint, sculpt, sketch and alot of digital graphics as well, im at the gym alomst every day, but i drink...kind of alot and i only smoke when i get drunk. "

"whats goin on folks im nate...um...describin myself...well 9 tats 1 piercing (soon to be more)...tattoos are fun...um i like to work on my truck way to damn much..tryin to get back into partyin alot ."

"I have a bachelor's degree but have not yet found a career. I am independent so no need to worry about that."

"im a oil field trash kinda guy lookin for a woman who knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. "

"im tired of liers and cheaters that dont know what so they have fun by playing games which i always lose and stay with the prize of sadness and pain. "

"hello i like to a big woman and big hooter "

"I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there. "

"Lookin 4 WOMEN 2 feed me THIER LOVe BoX"

"Do you want to know what makes me different from other guys is my capablity to hide under the bed, behind curtins, my ability to stay quiet in the closet for long periods of time. "

"For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address. "

" I can hang out if that's all you want-our encouters will be few. I can hang with dancing,partying and pure sex-our encopunters will be often."

" am verbally abusive and have a hair trigger temper. I once hit my mother with a broom stick 'cause she did me wrong. Fisticuffs have left me face scared. my nose resembles a sweet potato. I drink from about 3:00pm until I pass out( usally about 4:00am).somehow I managed to become a semi -famous writer and painter despite myself."

"There are alot of guys on this site, almost a sausage fest! But how many of these guys really know how to treat a woman sexualy?"

She Gets Jewelry - I Get Heartbreak

Damn it Miss Tracey! She argues with her boyfriend and look what he gives her to make up: Mom the Minx!