Fire in the Hole

Mom is Nutz posted about an unintentional fire she set in her yard. This reminded me of stunt I pulled a few years ago.

When I lived HERE , I loved to cause trouble.

Initially, our home was one of few in the neighborhood but, after 10 years there, the exploding tech industry brought in tons of Yankees and Californians. Now I don't so much mind those folks, but being a 5th generation Texan, I don't take kindly to being scrutinized by said invaders.

I suppose that I can be redneck with the best of them; yet, I just consider it the old ways of doing things.

That said, my beautiful front yard of carpet grass was looking puny. I had called in the typical lawn services, paid and paid and paid with no results. In anticipation that I might be fined for having a shitty yard, I took matters into my own hands. I set the yard on fire!

It was a "controlled fire" because I was standing there with a hose just burning little sections at a time.

My immediate neighbors were all good friends, so they were accustomed to my ways and just laughed. BUT, the invaders down the road - well....

I see a woman down at the cul-de-sac coming up the sidewalk toward me, hollering, "Is everything alright?"

I told her all was fine; I had everything under control.

She returns to her home. I finish burning and the fire is out.

Next thing I know, the fire department is at my house! Let me tell you these were some super hot guys in there early 20's. MMM mmm MMM.

I explained about the controlled burn and Yankees. (We weren't in the city, so it wasn't against the law to burn your yard). The guys laughed and hung out about 10 minutes. Damn, should have started that fire every week. Even my next door neighbor threatened to set her yard on fire so that we could have a repeat visit.