Wednesday Whispers

Take me to the country -

Oh, my little fat belly....

PPP: Loan Consolidation

I would venture to say that 90% of folks have debt. Luckily, my debts are within my control, but many people are in over their heads and feel overwhelmed living paycheck to paycheck. Other people depend on credit cards and are barely making minimum payments on those debts. Being able to utilize a loan consolidation would be beneficial to many trying to get their finances under control. This is a paid advertisement.

Texas Tuesday: Oldest Father?

Is Guy Jumper, of Como, the oldest father in Hopkins County this Father's Day? If not, he must be among the very oldest, as he joins that elite group of "centurians," on Wednesday of next week. Born on June 22, 1905, Mr. Guy Jumper has seen a Como and Hopkins County, that only you and I read about in books.

Born on his grandfather, Jefferson Davis Jumper's 300 acre farm, east of Como. Mr. Jumper recalls his grandfather's stories of coming to Texas on a wagon train in approximately 1895. "They left Mississippi looking for some better land and a new start in life. And, Grandpa Jumper (called 'Gosh Darn' Jumper by residents in the Como area) told of how my father, Gus Jumper, was a small boy on the wagon train to Texas and one morning the family went to wake the children in the pre-dawn hours and he was gone. He had sleepwalked during the night and traveled some three miles from the campsite," recalls Guy Jumper. "Grandpa had to unhitch a mule and look in the forest until he found him. He found him curled-up beneath a big oak tree, sound asleep, and he didn't remember a thing!"

Jumper's family moved to Como when the little settlement southeast of Sulphur Springs was known as Carrolls Prairie, and "Mr. Guy" remembers vividly the First National Bank of Como. "I didn't have much money to put in it back then, but I remember it well," denotes Mr. Jumper, with a sly grin. "And, I can remember when there were two drugstores, four or five mercantile stores, and every village of any size had a blacksmith shop or two. Then, I can remember the coal mines that were everywhere in this part of Hopkins County!"

One of Mr. Jumper's first jobs after reaching adulthood was working in those shallow coal mines. "When I was about 18 or 19 years old, I decided that there must be a better way to life than following 'the south-end' of a mule around a cotton patch, so I decided to go to work in the mines," recalls Jumper. "You didn't make over a dollar a day, but a dollar went a whole lot farther then than it does now!"

Following time spent in the mines and when they quit producing in the area, Jumper served four years in the U.S. Army, during World War II. The time he spent stationed in Germany and Italy, are his only times to leave the Como area. He drove an amunition truck during the war.

Jumper is the father of two daughters and two stepsons. He has ten grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren. "I hope to live long enough to see the next generation," denotes Jumper. "I kinda got started on this 'father thing' late. I was over forty years old, when I married my wife, Agnes, and she had two sons, Carl and Dewayne. Then, we had two daughters, Sherry and Sue!" Agnes Jumper will be 90 in August, but resides in Sunny Springs Nursing Home in Sulphur Springs, due to health problems. However, "Mr. Guy" lives in his home in Como, that he shares with daughter, Sherry Lee. His step-son, Dewayne Scarborough, keeps his lawn mowed and family members are constantly dropping-by to meet his needs and keep him company.

Guy Jumper was the eldest child of Mr. & Mrs. Gus Jumper and was reared on the family farm. He attended school in Como and has two sisters, Mrs. Drucille Johnson and Mrs. Gussie Bays, that are still living. Two brothers, Ned and Dub Jumper, and a sister, Hazel Staples, have passed away. When asked about his longevity, Jumper quipped, "I guess it was all of that 'clean living' I've done!"

However, Jumper has done some mighty dirty work in his almost a century of living. Besides breathing coal dust, he's been a dairy farmer for a number of years, and then worked for 30 plus years at the Thermo Brick Plant. "I've been blessed with health and the ability to work," affirms Jumper. "I may not have gotten rich, but the Good Lord has always kept me comfortable!"

Guy Jumper was a member of the Como Christian Church as long as it met in Como, but due to age doesn't make the drive into Sulphur Springs for services, once the church moved.

When asked what his wish was for Father's Day or a birthday present on Wednesday, Jumper quickly stated, "Well, I guess I could use a new pair of overalls!"

And, when asked how long he'd worn overalls, he reflected, "I guess pert nigh on a hundred years, wouldn't you say? I don't remember when I wasn't wearing overalls!"

Family and friends are invited to drop by the Jumper residence on Wednesday and wish Mr. Guy Jumper a happy one-hundredth birthday. His children request no gifts, just a warm hug and a handshake to this remarkable man, who has spanned the age from writing with a slate to computer technology.

Mr. Guy Jumper waved good-bye from his chair beneath the shade tree in his front yard, and invited me back to visit with him on his hundred and tenth birthday, when he hopes he has a great-great grandchild to "brag" about!




Happy 100th Birthday and Happy Father's Day, Mr. Guy Jumper!

by: Bobby McDonald
Article reprinted from this site initially published June 2005.

Crafty Idea

Previously I have referenced Mary over at My House is Cuter Than Yours. Recently she has posted a really Jiffy idea.

Where Do Known Predators Live?

This Family Watch Dog site was developed by John Walsh from Americas Most Wanted. When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed. The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.

PPP: Credit Cards

Interest rates have steadily been on the rise. This can be a good or bad thing. High rate Certificates of Deposits are definitely good but credit cards with high interest rates are a bad thing. Finding the best rate is why it is essential to compare credit cards compare credit cards. A company in the UK is offering 0% credit cards and 0% balance transfers . These are the types of credit cards I utilize. Right now a have balances on two different credit cards that have a 0% interest rate until 2008. This is so convenient and allows me to pay off debt without having hidden fees. Even better, because my credit rating is so good, I am constantly receiving credit card offers that have a 0% transfer fee and 0% interest rate for an even longer amount of time. Therefore, if I have not paid off one card, I can transfer the remaining amount to another and continue to receive the benefit of no fees. This is a paid advertisement.

The 320 Pound Woman

The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland . She is 7'4" and weighs 320 lbs. She's a looker and I bet she always gets her way!

Ed Addition: Actually, this is not the tallest woman as you can see HERE

PPP: Light Fixtures

Unless you have had bad lighting fixtures in a room, you probably have not really noticed. Even with a new home, the lighting can be less than sufficient. It is hard to read a book at night with just a standard ceiling fixture.. Apply makeup in a bathroom lighting situation that is less than adequate. Horrible experiences. Also, nothing is worse than an ugly light fixture that you look at every day. Do not forget outdoor home and garden lighting. The ambiance and ability to walk without tripping is important. Consider purchasing new Light Fixtures and make life easier.

This is a paid advertisement.

Painted Cats Part III

Again, as promised, here are more pictures of "tortured cats." I have seen beautifully marked kitties in their natural state, but these painted ones just take the cake. Again, these are not photoshopped. The cats are actually painted by an artist - a very BRAVE artist!

PPP:Blog Marketing

I began blog marketing at PayPerPosts a few months ago. While some of my readers may consider the PayPerPosts informative, others may consider it an inconvenience. It is a must that you disclose you are being paid for advertising. The beginning requirement of PayPerPost is that one have a blog in existence 90 days or more and that posts are fairly frequent (at least once a week). Payment was/is fairly minimal $3 to $10 per post, but, heh, if you are posting everyday, why not earn some dinero? While my blog has just reached a PR of 3, I am still limited on some of the higher paying opportunities. However, I know that some of my readers have a large fan base. With a higher Google rating, you can make up to $1,000 per post! What are you waiting for? If you blog evey day there is no reason not to jump right in and add an advertisement of your choice. How much easier could it be to make a few bucks doing what you already do? PayPerPost has become a very popular site for making money blogging. In addition, it is very cost-efficient for advertisers to get the word out about their products. I highly recommend joining this group – and, hey, be sure and tell them NoMas referred you – I would love to earn a referral fee.

Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mother used to do.


Okay - i was gonna add a picture of someone's face being slapped. Hm, came up with some very nasty stuff. Go ahead and let your imaginations run wild - those are exactly what my search turned up. However, i did find this Slapped Face Syndrome .

More Kitty Pictures

As promised, part two of painted kitty photos. They seem to get more elaborate. Of course, looking at the owners pictured with their kitty, one can sympathize with kitty! Yikes!

PPP: Encyclopedia Project

Work from home provides numerous vendor opportunities. I have always loved plants and pride myself in being able to grow practically anything. A New York based internet company, Bonsai Boy of New York, offers quality dwarf trees. Being a family run business, they are able to sell trees and other accessories at reasonable rates. The miniature sizes of bonsai trees make them ideal for any space. In fact, you can have many of these trees even in a small apartment.
This is a paid advertisement.

Texas Tuesday: Dixie or Yankee?

Yankee Test (Test is based on research by the Harvard Computer Society enhanced by Dr. Beard's own research at alphaDictionary. )

This is interesting! I would love to know what your score indicates.


My Results:

"96% Dixie. Is General Lee your grandfather?!"

PPP: RayBan Sunglasses

RayBans at BestBuyEyeglasses.com is a great site in which to order designer RayBan sunglasses. A very wide selection is available. In fact they offer 130 different pairs of RayBans. In addition glasses can be ordered with prescription lenses. Prices are so reasonable that they are practically half off retail. This site has even been featured in The Wall Street Journal. Look sharp today in a cool new pair of RayBans!
This is a paid advertisement.

Painted Kitty

Wow, some people will go to extremes with their animals! Why someone would do this to their kitty is beyond me but it is interesting. Obviously the artist has talent. Who could hold a kitty down to paint it without getting their eyes scratched out!??

(I have many of these photos and will be posting more in the days to come.)

PPP: Electronica Artists

Every genre of music has always appealed to me. Austin, Texas is known for being the Music Capitol of the World and this has afforded me the opportunity to hear a variety of bands. Now logging in to Electronica Artists allows one to hear unsigned musicians and for artists to profile themselves and their music in order to be heard. This is a great site for those struggling musicians that do not have unlimited funds to travel the world performing gigs. Also, it is beneficial to music lovers who are tired of hearing the same songs over and over on the radio. Have a listen. You might just discover a new group to love.

This is a paid advertisement.

How Do You Treat Others?

I received this email and although it is an oldie, we can all use a refresher course! Luckily for me, my readers are kind-hearted folks that probably taught some of these lessons. Thank y'all for being such good people - enjoy.

First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s.

The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

A special note was attached.

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and at at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickles and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek.

Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

PPP: Coupon Chief

This is a paid advertisement.

I have written about online deals previously. Being out in the country, sometimes it is just more prudent to shop online. Of course, saving money with online shopping is beneficial to people in town, as well. Everyone loves a bargain. Coupon Chief offers hundreds of coupons to save you money. Loving to read, I especially like being able to receive a discount on magazines at Best Deal Magazines . With reasonable prices, I merely add a coupon for even more savings than regular book store prices. Minus the cost of gasoline, I definitely come out ahead. Check out Coupon Chief and see how much value for your money you will receive.

Greatest love story in Hunt County

Ed Note: A touching story -

By TRACY CHESNEY
Herald-Banner Staff

He tucks her into bed every night, and every morning, he has a fresh cup of coffee waiting for her when she wakes up.

Because she’s in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, she can’t do anything for herself. She can’t get up or down from her chair or her bed without assistance. She can only walk to the bathroom with the assistance of her walker. And she needs help with all of her personal hygiene care.

He didn’t have the heart, however, to put her in a nursing home, but he had the heart to keep her by his side forever “even if it meant wearing pink underwear.”

Elmer and Geraldine Yates of Cash will be married 60 years in May. They were chosen as the winners of the Herald-Banner’s “The Greatest Love Story in Hunt County” contest, because of Elmer’s unconditional love for his wife.

As the winners of the contest, the couple received gifts from several local merchants including Angel’s Dream Bed and Breakfast, Calico Cat and Mary of Puddin Hill.

When Geraldine was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years ago, Elmer could have put her in a nursing home. Instead, he gave up his freedom to care for his wife 24 hours a day.

“It’s depressing to walk into the homes and see people sitting in their wheelchairs reaching out to you,” Elmer said. “I’m not downgrading nursing homes; I just didn’t feel it was the right thing for us. Besides, I would miss her if she was gone.”

“Plus, he wouldn’t get any rest if she was in a home,” his daughter, Ann Shepherd, added.

Geraldine had a brain aneurysm in June 2000, and when she came home from the hospital, she needed extra care.

“Soon after, the dementia and Alzheimer’s began, and again my dad was there for her,” Ann said. “In the last six years, Mother has been hospitalized many times. She had two strokes within a week, and last year, she had a stint placed in one of her arteries and gall bladder surgery.

“She now needs 24-hour-care, seven days a week, and my dad is still there doing most of it himself.”

Elmer, a retired painter and construction worker, admits that his wife used to do it all. Now, Elmer has learned how to do everything. He does all the housework including doing the laundry three times a week, cooking two meals a day and paying the bills.

“My dad has never been a cook, cleaner or organizer,” Ann said. “I still laugh at the first load of laundry he did. They wore pink underwear for a good while. And his cooking, let’s just say laundry was his strong point.”

Elmer chuckled when he recalled his first experience with washing clothes.

“I had never done laundry before she got sick and hadn’t done much as far as housekeeping,” Elmer said. “At church one day, a lady overheard Ann talking about me washing my underwear with a pink blouse and how it turned my underwear pink.

“A few weeks later, another lady came up to me at church and asked me what color of underwear was I wearing today.”

Elmer said he now has more appreciation for the ladies who do all the housework.

“I don’t think they get enough credit,” he said, chuckling. “It’s hard when you have to keep up with everything. It’s a job.”

Since Geraldine requires constant care, Elmer can never leave her side except when extra help arrives. Ann comes over on Wednesdays to care for her mother so her father can go do the grocery shopping and errands. She comes over again on Sunday mornings so her dad can go to church.

“We’re homebound,” Elmer said. “Most of my days are spent inside. In the summers, though, while she’s sleeping, I can go outside and mow and do yard work.”

Elmer reminisced about the early days and said they courted about a year before they got married. Their first date was what Elmer referred to as a picture show or a drive-in theater.

When Elmer was asked if they did any smooching at the drive-in, he laughed and said, “Well, that’s what drive-ins were for.”

When Geraldine was asked what attracted her to her husband she said, “I guess it was love at first sight,” which was one of her only comments during the interview.

“What attracted me to her was that we had a lot of things in common and we did a lot of things together,” Elmer said.

Elmer said the best part of his life was when they were raising a family. The couple has three children, Ann Shepherd and Robert and Jerry Yates; three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

“Her best qualities were that she was always there for me, always backed me in whatever I was doing, and she was very independent.

“She had her own way of doing things, and I appreciated that."

“Her personality has changed, but not drastically. She can remember long-term but can’t remember short-term things.”

Once the Alzheimer’s set in, Elmer said there seem to be some things missing in his life.

“Before all this, it was the company we had with each other, the discussions, the talking,” he said. “That’s kind of quieted down. I miss going places, and now, there’s a loneliness and emptiness.”

Elmer was recently asked to speak at his church on how his marriage has survived for almost 60 years.

“I hold to the vow that was made, and I feel pretty strong about that,” he said. “That’s part of it, but not the main thing. It’s the bond we share. I still love her, and some days, it’s stronger than others.”

Ann nominated her parents for “The Greatest Love Story” contest but didn’t tell her parents about it until she got the call that they were the winners.

“When someone wants to tell a love story, they often think of words like candlelight, roses and moonlit walks,” Ann said. “While I used to think that too, I now know what a true love story is.

“The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother, and I know that my dad loves my mom unconditionally. When I think of a love story now, I think of words like compassion, consideration, patience, encouragement and eternal.”

Elmer was asked if he thought they had the greatest love story.

“You could say that,” he said. “But there are others out there that have greater stories. But to us, it’s our story.” Throughout their marriage, Elmer has had a tradition of picking out the prettiest, fanciest card for his wife for every occasion.

“I try to pick out cards that relate to us, the part she’s played in our lives and to remind her of what she’s done throughout the years.

“The only thing, however, is that I don’t sign the cards. I used to sign the cards, ‘It’s from me.’ I’ve always told her, however, that I don’t sign them because she knows who they’re from.”

Although Elmer struggles every day caring for his wife, he has no plans of putting her in a home.

“As long as I’m healthy as I am now, I’ll probably never put her in a home.”

Today is Valentine’s Day, but it’s also Wednesday, the only day that Elmer is able to get out of the house. So today, Elmer will be out at the store picking out the prettiest Valentine’s Day card he can find.

“It’s not that I’m waiting until the last minute; it’s the only time I can get out.”

So, tonight, when the lights are turned down low, Elmer will be tucking his wife into bed. Displayed on the nightstand will be the prettiest Valentine’s Day card ever. It will tell of a lifetime full of meaning, but it will be unsigned, because she knows who it’s from.When Geraldine wakes up in the morning, she’ll have two things waiting for her — a fresh cup of coffee and a husband who will always stand by her side.

PPP: Dress Up Games & Cartoon Dolls

This is a paid advertisement.

I love to dress up yet I rarely have the opportunity to do so living on the farm. Frilly blouses and high heels with diamond and gold bracelets make me feel all girly! Now, I can play dress up on the internet. The Dress Up Games web site allows me to customize any figure. With the doll maker, first I choose a figure then I can opt for practically any outfit or accessory. The options are virtually unlimited. Figures range from cartoon to cuties. There are even figures that the guys will like. Outfits range from ball gowns to punk styles. Additional choices are earrings, stockings, hats, bracelets, handbags, and hair adornments. My favorite coordinating accessories are the shoes. A girl can never have enough shoes! They have boots, sneakers, heels and all the latest styles to choose from. I must not forget the hairstyles. Yes, you can even design your figure’s hair style and hair color. There are many to fit your style. Another favorite use for these figures is to create an avatar for your own website. The fashion games allow one to play on this site all day. Next time my niece visits, I will turn her on to this site with games for girls. She will have a blast and so will you!

Stupid Boy by Keith Urban

I heard this song performed by Keith urban on the Today show. It hits me right at home cause it is exactly how I feel at this stage in my life, except I still feel so beaten down, I haven't been able to fly - YET. It is a beautiful song.
Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old
Same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she's gone

Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please, just let her know
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Baby, yeah, I'm down on my knees
She's never coming back to me

PPP: Millionaire Dating Site

This is a paid advertisement. I’ve dated plenty of guys for the mere attraction. Unfortunately they all seem to want me to be the payee. Just for once, I’d like to date a guy who will carry his share. How to find that guy? There seem to be hundreds of dating sites. Every day I see advertisements on television for this, that or the other dating service. Love and admiration fade, so why not date someone who can offer you more? At this Millionaire Dating Service you no longer have to worry about dating a financial loser. While money isn’t everything, why not enjoy the benefits of privilege while getting to know someone special?

New Blog Friend

Recently, I have been lurking at this lady's blog S Nicolas Originals. Besides her wonderful stories, she is an awesome artist - making the most delectable dolls. Go visit her.

What Famous Leader Are You?

I am Ghandi!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Friday Feast

Appetizer : What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?

wind rustling through the trees

Soup : Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).

the calm before a tornado or hurricane

Salad : What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?

calming an animal and taking care of pet injuries

Main Course : Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?

a book on plant identity such as Herbs for Texas

Dessert : If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?

a now defunct Texas winery, Hill Country Cellars, made a dark chocolate ball filled with their wonderful port wine. i would bring those back to life and call them Chocolate Bombshells.

Still Internet Problems

Well, I had pretty good connectivity for about 3 days. Now I am having trouble again. Prism.net had taken down their satillite tower and rebuilt it. Something happened to it during the ice storm. Obviously they are still having quirks. Therefore, my excuse for being lax in commenting, etc.

Name the Bunny

This is my new rescued bunny.

The story: Sunday, a neighbor (retired college professor from Georgetown, Texas) stopped by while I was painting the front gate. He was trying to pawn off Redbone Hounddog puppies. There was a bucket- full of 7 five- week-old pups that weighed about 12 pounds each (BIG puppies, but so cute). While I was giving him a scolding for breeding dogs since there are so many homeless pets, I noticed he had a bunny in a cage on his fla- bed trailer. Upon asking him why the bunny was freezing in a cage, he replied that he bought the cage and bunny at auction and just wanted the cage. "I'm going to let the rabbit loose in the pasture." Well I couldn't have that. So I told the idiot I would take the bunny. He is fairly friendly considering the torture he went through. I can pet him and he plays with my cat.

Let's play NAME THE BUNNY! (I am thinking something Valentiney like Archer, Valentino, Chip - as in chocolate), but that also seems corney so I need help!!!

Chocolate Favorites

Here are two fun, chocolate treats for all occasions (anyone is welcome to provide me with either today):

Darling handbags and shoes made of chocolate :

AND

Breasteses (sorry no photo)

They are decadent. They are perky and sweet. They come in pairs, melt in your mouth, and when you're finished, you're not quite satisfied. Don't worry, it's not just you. Breasteses have that effect on everyone. The melty, chocolatey goodness is the culinary creation of one Lois M. Rodriguez, mistress of the baked goods. Chocolate-covered chocolate cake delectably gives way to a creamy whipped chocolate mousse center. And a sweet perky raspberry to top it off and give it a Breasteses appeal. The treats can occasionally be found in the refrigerated section at Nueva Onda. There's no wrong way to get a mouthful of Breasteses. Nueva Onda, 2218 College Ave., Austin, Texas 447-5063 www.nuevaaustin.com

(I'd love to make these Breasteses!)

Antique Valentines

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Texas Tuesday: Old Sayings

from THE HERALD BANNER, Greenville, Texas

Gaining insight from old sayings
By James Conrad


Old-timers in Hunt County had a unique way of condensing an aphorism or truism into a short, pithy saying.

Today historians and folklorists study these sayings for the insight that they provide for understanding values and folk traditions.

For some unexplained reasons many of these antique expressions exhibited hostility to man’s best friend, the dog. A case in point is this saying: “There ‘s always other ways of killing a dog than chocking him with butter.” Part of the secret of these sayings is interpreting their meaning into contemporary wording. In this case, the saying probably conveys the thought that there are always less expensive and more efficient ways of doing something. A modern day version of this is “There are many ways of skinning a cat.”

Another saying that was popular that used dogs were: “Enough is enough and too much is dog bait (scraps)” Here the meaning is that too much of anything has little value. To describe a low down, low life individual, an old-timer would say: “He is worse than an eye sucking dog.” This saying had currency when farm families used chickens to lay eggs for family table and for sale. Snakes might get into the hen house eggs, but only a misfit dog would suck eggs in the hen house.

The saying that “two moves are as good as fire,” comes from the time that the sharecropper often moved from one farm to another. Every move of a tenant farmer meant that something got left behind either by accident or lack of room in the wagon to carry to the new farmstead. December or January tended to be the time of the year after the crops had been harvested and sold, that tenants would leave if they were going to leave a place. For some this was an annual event, so much that that it was said that as the family started loading up the furniture and clothes onto the family wagon that the “chicken crossed their legs and the cows began to head up.” In those days, a farmer wife tied the legs of chicken to carry them in the wagon.

“All wool and a yard wide,” was a way of saying something nice about a person or an object. Roamey Williams, from Wolfe City, vividly explained the expression: “My father agreed to buy an unseen cow and calf from Tom Denney. I told him that was a good way to get cheated. But my father said that no man would get cheated from buying from Denney. When we bought the cow from him, she proved highly satisfactory and that is when I learned that some people are “all wool and a yard wide.” This saying, I am sure, derives from the high value placed on pure wool in the days before machine operated textile mills.

Another expression that is still used is “the latch string is always out.” In the pioneer days of log cabins, the doors had latches and latch string instead of locks and bolts. The latch string hung outside the front door and was attached to the latch inside the house. By pulling the string you could unlatch the door. If the homeowner did not want unwelcome visitors, he simply pulled the string inside the front door and pulled the curtains across the windows.

Sayings might be lengthier than a short phrase in the explanation of the difference between britches and pants and between fiddle and a violin. “If britches cost more than a dollar and half, they were pants. If a fiddle cost more than $3 it became a violin.”

Conrad is archivist and oral historian at Texas A&M University-Commerce.

Tired of Feeling Used?

Everyone feels taken advantage of at some point. Whether it is non-reciprocation of feelings or users bumming money (as in Hammer's case).
I discovered Blu Jewel's blog today and her post of February 2nd is very uplifting, in addtition to reflecting my mood of late. I borrowed this from her and truly hope she doesn't mind - go check out her site! She's gonna be my new read! Thank you Blu.

Blu's post verbatim:

I lifted this from Honey Libra

Expecting life to treat you well because you're a good person; is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.--Shari R. Barr

When I read this I first laughed, but then the reality of it set in as being completely true. I'm one of those people who'll do just about anything for anyone without wanting anything in return. I've always been told it's a good quality trait to have; however, I've sometimes found it to work to my disadvantage because people have tended to take advantage of me and/or my kindness. Nowadays I'm a little less willing to over extend myself for a few reasons:

1. Because it's simply not healthy

2. It's exhausting to be nice/kind all the time because it can compromise my own happiness

3. Because sometimes it would be nice to have an action reciprocated

Cashing the reality check was as much needed as my vegetarian ass being charged by the bull. All that aside, I still tend to be a good person, not because I want to be treated in the same fashion I treat others, but simply because that's the type of person I am. I'm not going to go from zero to bitch faster than a Porsche because someone said or did something I don't like. Life consists of shitty things and shitty people and just because I'm a good person, doesn't mean others are. Some people are inherently bad and there's little anyone can do to change them.

My humble opinion is this; if you're a good person, be proud of that. Don't expect others to appreciate or reciprocate it. Do what you do because you wanted to and call it a day.

Valentine Preparations

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Ghetto Spellin'

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader.

This is Leroy's homework assignment.

He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.

1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.

2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.

3. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both.

4. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.

5. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.

6. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "Man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."

7. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.

8. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "How much?" she say "fortify."

Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word....

Today's word is: "OMELETTE"

Let us use it in a sentence.

"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

Maxine's Words of Wisdom

Texas Tuesday: Cowboy Clifford

[Hey guys - sorry about the MIA status. My satillite connection has been in and out since Thursday and is totally out now. Despite the fact that Prism.net is crediting me $52.00 for the month, it doesn't seem as if they are in a hurry to get me back up. I am borrowing a dial up connection tonight that is the pits, but guess something is better than nothing. Anyhow, it takes forever, when it works to even open a site. Therefore, my lack of posting and commenting. I WILL be back. Thanks for your comments - I'm barely here!]

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Wichita Falls' Texas theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager.

The cowboy just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?"

"Clifford," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Clifford?"

With pain in his voice Clifford replied.... "The balcony."

What a Woman!

My posts and comments are intermittent this weekend cause I'm having connection troubles for some reason. I'd like to share this obituary, however, if I can get connected it to post. (Yes, I like to read them - ya know I'm strange like that.)

Martha Matilda Wagner was born September 26, 1906 in Fedor, Lee County, Texas. She was the second of seven children born to Hermann and Pauline Melde Zschech. Martha was a genuine farm-girl picking more than 300 pounds of cotton a day. She could wield an axe to chop wood for heating and cooking stoves. She could cook and bake bread and pies like no one else could. She could milk the cows, slop the hogs, feed the chickens and be a good nurse to her younger siblings. She could do everything except pull a plow...this she would also have done if possible. Such was her will and determination to live her life. The highlight of the week was maybe a trip to town (Giddings), a bag of candies, apples and oranges. There were always Sunday dinners after church with family, friends and more often than not, the church pastor and/or the parochial school teacher. She began to attend school at the age of five...because her older brother would not attend alone. The donkey ride one way was nearly two miles. In her later years she could still recite Luther's Small Catechism verbatim...in German of course. Martha lived furthest away from the farm after her marriage; however, she was always there first and stayed the longest in time of sickness or sorrow. The strain was enormous on the parents in January 1943 when her brother, Fred, was killed in the South Pacific during World War II. The story of her pre-marriage years would cause much laughter and some tears. She was a devoted daughter and extremely reluctant to leave the home farm. She met her love Edwin Hermann Wagner at the 1926 Fedor July Fourth Picnic. This old picnic ground site is within a stone's throw from the cemetery where they are buried. They were married in May 1928. Ed died in 1995 at the age of 90. Together they had one son, Elmo, born in 1930. Martha and Ed farmed until the mid-thirties when Ed became a meat processor and owned markets in Lampasas and LaGrange. Ed took a whirl at restaurant life in Giddings when he built Parkway Café on the east then outskirts of town. Ed concluded that he made a mistake and moved the family to Austin, managing various Kash- Karry Markets. Martha remained devoted to being a housewife and mother. She was a sales lady in an Austin dress shop for some five-six years. However, her home and yard were her hobbies. The house inside could always pass a white-glove inspection and her yard was always full of flowers surrounded by manicured green grass. She lived a long and prosperous life. The woman was never idle. Martha is survived by her son Elmo and his wife Pat Wagner of Austin. Martha and Ed were long time members of Hope Lutheran Church, Austin. Church services have been arranged at Trinity Lutheran Church, Fedor, where Martha was baptized, confirmed and married. It seems only meet and right Martha leaves this world by way of that very same altar. Her services will be held Sunday, February 4, 2007 at 2:00 p.m. Pastor Leif Hasskarl, officiating. Burial will be in the church cemetery. There will be refreshments afterwards at the old school house, next to the church. Florists in Giddings are: Flowers By LaVerne 979-542-6263, Blossoms & Bows 979-542-9764, and The Secret Garden 979-542-2457. Come if you can. The drive through the truly pastoral country-side is worth the effort...not to mention visiting one of the oldest Lutheran churches in the region. Let this be a celebration of life...not a funeral. All arrangements made through and with Phillips & Luckey Funeral Home, Giddings, Texas. 979-542-3113. 588 N. Main. 78942

Sensitive Subject

A US underwear manufacturer has invented pants designed to hide the smell of flatulence.

The Under-Ease pants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool.

To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs.

Under-Tec president and inventor Buck Weimer said: "Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas."

"We get a lot of jokes - but we don't doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose."

"They can be worn anytime, anywhere - in bed, to work, at social events, including professional meetings or when travelling in any vehicle, including an airplane."

A COUPLE OF TESTIMONIALS:

I am a 60 year old, married professional woman having raised 3 sons. For the past 32 years of my life, I've suffered with Crohns Disease, and Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome which causes symptoms of diarrhea and excessive foul smelling gas. The embarrassment and consequent social anxiety would many times actually increase these symptoms.

I am a clinical psychologist in private practice and it has been tremendously embarrassing when I pass gas while working; often with little or no control. The most embarrassing moment of my working career was when a client said,"It smells like sewage in here!" My professionalism melted when I admitted to the client that my gas was the cause of the smell.

My devoted husband of 30 years had also struggled with sleeping in the same bed with me, and it would sometimes interfere with our intimacy. My children could laugh at it, but would leave the room. I noticed an increase in my symptoms when I was embarrassed about the foul smelling gas.

On one Thanksgiving night, as my husband and I were lying in bed after a wonderful dinner, the foul smell became unbearable for both of us. My husband ruminated, thinking,"I can't divorce my wife over this, but I have to do something." At that moment, he began to develop the idea of a pair of air-tight underwear with a filter that would eliminate the foul smell. For the next few months he researched filter materials and made a prototype of the underwear.

For the past 5 years, I have worn these underwear when I've had an acute Crohns attack with complete security. There has been no trace of bad gas odors. My social anxiety and embarrassment has been eliminated. In fact, I noticed I pass less gas when I wear the underwear, because I am calm, secure, and comfortable.

AND:

"I am a circus performer and for years I have been embarrassed to pass gas on stage. People in the audience sometime thinks its part of the act but it isn't. Because of your wonderful product today my audience laughs at my gags and not my gas."